Turning 40 can be a strange milestone. It’s a time when many of us pause, look around, and ask, “How did I get here?” By this age, we’ve often checked off many of the big life boxes—career, family, home—but something still nags at the edges. Maybe it’s the weight of responsibilities or the realization that time is marching on. Whatever it is, 40 often feels like a wake-up call.

But instead of letting that unease simmer, what if we leaned into it? What if we allowed it to spur a deeper question: “Am I living a life that aligns with my true values and purpose?”

The Midlife Check-In

At 40, the rush of youth has started to settle, and with it comes a clearer understanding of who we are. We’ve experienced enough of life to know what excites us, what drains us, and what gives us a sense of meaning. This is precisely why it’s the perfect time to pause and ask ourselves if we’re living authentically.

But what does that even mean, “living authentically”? It’s more than just being honest with yourself—it’s about living in a way that reflects your core values, passions, and beliefs. It means that the choices you make, big and small, are leading you toward a life that feels true to who you are at your core.

The Trap of Success

For many, the first few decades of adulthood are about achieving success, however you define it. We chase the promotion, buy the house, start the family, and somewhere along the way, we might start to feel like we’re checking boxes on someone else’s list. This isn’t to say that these accomplishments aren’t worthwhile—they often are. But when they don’t reflect our deepest values, they can leave us feeling empty.

At 40, it’s time to question whether the life you’ve built is the one you truly want. Do your daily actions reflect what matters most to you? Are you living according to your values, or are you simply going through the motions?

Realigning with Your Purpose

If asking this question stirs up discomfort, that’s a good thing. It means you’re being honest with yourself. Maybe you’ve realized that your career, while successful, doesn’t light you up anymore. Perhaps you’ve noticed that your relationships need more attention, or that you’ve neglected passions that once brought you joy.

Realigning your life with your true values doesn’t necessarily mean making drastic changes. Sometimes, it’s about small shifts—a commitment to spend more time with loved ones, rekindling a creative hobby, or finding ways to bring more meaning into your work. For others, it might involve bigger decisions like changing careers, relocating, or rethinking your approach to health and wellness.

A Tool for Deeper Reflection

To help guide this process of introspection, consider asking yourself the following questions. These can provide clarity on where you are now and where you want to go:

1. What are the core values that guide my decisions and actions?

Identify the principles that are most important to you and evaluate how they influence your life choices.

2. Am I pursuing goals that genuinely fulfill me, or am I chasing someone else’s definition of success?

Reflect on whether your ambitions align with your own desires or if they are influenced by external expectations.

3. What aspects of my life bring me the most joy and satisfaction?

Consider the people, activities, and experiences that consistently make you feel happy and content.

4. Where do I feel the most drained or unfulfilled?

Identify areas in your life that leave you feeling depleted and explore why they have that effect on you.

5. How do I prioritize my time, and does it reflect what I truly value?

Evaluate whether your daily schedule and commitments align with what matters most to you.

6. What relationships are most important to me, and am I nurturing them effectively?

Assess the quality of your relationships and whether you’re investing enough time and energy in them.

7. Am I taking care of my physical and mental health in a way that supports my long-term well-being?

Reflect on your self-care practices and how they contribute to your overall health and happiness.

8. What fears or limiting beliefs are holding me back from living more authentically?

Explore any internal barriers that might be preventing you from pursuing the life you truly want.

9. How do I want to grow or change in the next decade?

Think about the personal and professional growth you hope to achieve as you move forward in life.

10. What legacy do I want to leave behind, and am I living in a way that supports that vision?

Consider the impact you want to have on others and the world, and whether your current actions are contributing to that legacy.

Moving Forward with Intention

The beauty of turning 40 is that it’s not the end—far from it. It’s a time to take stock and decide how you want to move forward. By asking yourself if you’re living in alignment with your true values and purpose, and by using these questions to guide deeper reflection, you set the stage for a more intentional, fulfilling life.

So, take a moment to reflect. Look at where you are, where you want to go, and what’s most important to you. If you find that your life isn’t fully aligned with your values, don’t be afraid to make adjustments. After all, this is your journey, and 40 is just the beginning of a new chapter.