When we think about happiness, we tend to look ahead. We imagine it waiting for us in the future, just around the next corner—after the promotion, the relationship, the vacation, the next big change. But what if that’s the wrong direction to look?

In his heartfelt and humorous TEDx talk, psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener flips the script on our search for happiness. He suggests that instead of chasing future bliss, we might find more joy by looking backward. “Your happiest days are behind you,” he says—not as a pessimistic declaration, but as a radical reframe.

According to Biswas-Diener, nearly everyone who approaches him—regardless of background, age, culture, or class—asks the same question: How can I be happier? The assumption baked into that question is that happiness is a future reward, earned by adjusting the present. Change your habits, your mindset, your job, your relationships—and the future will repay you in joy.

But here’s the problem: the future is wildly unpredictable. It will bring both pleasure and pain, certainty and chaos. The idea that we can design a foolproof formula for happiness tomorrow is, at best, hopeful guesswork.

So, where does that leave us?

Biswas-Diener proposes a simpler, more grounded answer: memory. Think about your life so far. You already know what has made you happiest. You’ve lived those moments. They’re real, vivid, and available to you right now—if you’re willing to remember.

To illustrate, he shares an unforgettable story about a little girl named Putall in a slum in Kolkata, India. He was there interviewing residents about happiness, trying to understand how joy exists amid deep poverty. When he asked ten-year-old Putall what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said, “A nurse.” With barely a moment’s hesitation, she explained why she’d be a good one: “I’m fast.”

A playful challenge followed. Biswas-Diener, being competitive, asked if she was faster than he was. Her answer: “I am definitely faster than you.” So, naturally, they raced—right out into a busy street surrounded by hundreds of onlookers. Businesses closed. Cars pulled over. The community showed up. All for this spontaneous race between a child and a visitor from across the world.

And in a beautiful twist, Putall—who could outrun him with ease—held back. She let the race play out, nodding at him as they neared the finish line, before turning on the jets and claiming her victory, arms raised. The slum erupted in joy. A community that struggled to survive on a few dollars a day found, in that moment, a reason to cheer. A reason to smile.

That moment, Biswas-Diener says, has never left him. Even years later, standing on a stage in another country, he could feel it again. The laughter. The admiration. The joy. Just by remembering, he was back there. And his audience—people who hadn’t been there, who hadn’t known Putall—smiled too. That’s the power of memory.

His point is profound in its simplicity: positive memories are a renewable source of happiness. They’re reliable. They’re accessible. And when we share them, they become even more powerful—sometimes even contagious.

This doesn’t mean we give up on goals or stop striving for better futures. By all means, dream. Work hard. Embrace joy when it comes. But don’t idolize the future as the only place happiness can live. Because every good moment you’ll experience—from a warm conversation to a personal achievement—will eventually become part of your past. And it’s there, in that vast mental vault of joy, that you can find happiness again and again.

So how can you be happier? Remember. Go back. Revisit the smiles, the triumphs, the unexpected kindnesses. Don’t just chase happiness—recall it. And let your past keep giving.

Credits:
Talk by Robert Biswas-Diener at TEDxUNLV
Title: “Your Happiest Days Are Behind You”