When we imagine the end of our lives, we hope to look back with peace, not regret. But for many, the final days bring clarity—and painful reflections on what truly mattered. Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, spent years caring for patients in their final weeks. In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she captured their most common regrets, shared with raw honesty.

These regrets aren’t just sad stories—they’re wake-up calls for the living. Below, we look first at the top regrets Bronnie heard, and then the life lessons we can draw from them. Because we still have time.

The Top Regrets of the Dying

“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This was the most common regret Bronnie heard. Many realized, far too late, that their dreams had gone unfulfilled—not because they lacked talent or drive, but because they’d spent their lives pleasing others. They traded authenticity for acceptance, and freedom for approval. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” This regret was especially common among men, many of whom missed their children’s youth and their partners’ companionship. Work consumed them, and by the time they slowed down, the time they hoped to spend with loved ones had passed. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.” Bottled-up emotions were a silent cause of broken relationships and personal misery. Many people confessed they had avoided conflict or vulnerability, choosing instead to stay quiet—and lonely. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” In the rush of daily life, friendships fell away. People expressed deep sadness over having lost contact with old friends, not because of fights, but because they simply didn’t make the effort to maintain those bonds. “I wish I had let myself be happier.” This regret was often a surprise. People realized they had held themselves back from joy—trapped in patterns of worry, guilt, or the belief that they didn’t deserve happiness.

The Lessons We Can Learn

Each regret holds a mirror to our own lives—and points us toward a better path. Here are ten lessons drawn from these stories, expanded with deeper reflection.

1. Live Authentically

Be honest with yourself about what you want from life. You don’t have to follow a traditional path or meet someone else’s expectations. Your time is yours. Spend it doing what aligns with your values and passions.

2. Don’t Wait

Whether it’s retirement, a dream vacation, or a heartfelt conversation, don’t keep postponing life. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Make space for the things you value—today.

3. Work Is Not Everything

Work gives structure and identity, but it should never replace your relationships. Find balance. Set boundaries. Your job is a part of your life, not your whole life.

4. Simplify Your Life

Chasing bigger homes, cars, or status doesn’t bring peace. A simpler life, built around purpose and connection, often brings far more satisfaction. Focus on what truly adds value to your day-to-day existence.

5. Express Yourself

Speak up. Share how you feel. Say “I love you” often and without hesitation. Vulnerability strengthens relationships, even when it’s uncomfortable.

6. Prioritize Relationships

Reach out to old friends. Make time for phone calls, dinners, or even short texts. Relationships, not accomplishments, are what people treasure at the end.

7. Count Your Blessings

Gratitude shifts your mindset. Start small—clean water, a kind word, a sunny day. When you focus on what you have, rather than what you lack, contentment follows.

8. Care for Your Health

Health is often invisible—until it’s gone. Move your body, eat well, and get rest. Not just to live longer, but to live better. Physical freedom is a gift. Treat it that way.

9. Choose Happiness

Happiness isn’t something that happens to you—it’s something you choose. Reframe challenges as opportunities. Laugh when you can. Let go of perfection and lean into joy.

10. Practice Daily Gratitude

Make it a habit to recognize the good in your life. Bronnie herself kept a gratitude journal to stay grounded while caring for the dying. Gratitude helps us notice the beauty that’s already here.

We all want to reach the end of our lives without regret. That’s why these lessons are so powerful. They remind us that fulfillment doesn’t come from how much we do, but how deeply we live.

The people Bronnie Ware cared for didn’t regret being imperfect. They regretted being inauthentic, too busy, too afraid to speak, and too distracted to connect. Their stories aren’t meant to sadden us—they’re meant to wake us up.

Live courageously. Love deeply. Laugh freely. Let your life reflect the lessons we now have the privilege to know.

Credit: Insights inspired by Bronnie Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.