We all want to feel happier and more resilient, especially when life gets messy. But what does it really take to build lasting wellbeing—not just for ourselves, but for the people we care about?

For me, this question became personal. I’ve not only championed the Action for Happiness movement in my own life, but also introduced it to friends and loved ones. And what’s beautiful is seeing how small shifts—one conversation, one kindness, one reflection—can ripple out and bring real change.

That’s exactly what this special Action for Happiness event explored, featuring renowned psychologist and author Vanessa King in conversation with Dr. Mark Williamson. Together, they dived into the science of happiness and offered new, practical ways to enrich our lives, even in the midst of challenge.

Happiness Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Practice

Vanessa, a founding member of Action for Happiness and author of 10 Keys to Happier Living and List Happy, reminded us: happiness isn’t passive. It’s something we can build through conscious choices and consistent actions. And it’s far more within our control than we often believe.

This event didn’t just skim the surface. It offered a deeper look into new ideas emerging from the science of positive psychology—ideas that I’ve seen firsthand make a difference when applied to real life.

Psychological Sustainability: A New Lens for Resilience

Vanessa introduced a new concept she’s been working on—psychological sustainability. Unlike the pressure-laden idea of “resilience,” psychological sustainability is about building long-term emotional wellbeing. It’s future-focused, kind to the self, and deeply social.

Vanessa frames it like this: what’s good for me now, for me in the long run, for us (as a community) now, and for us in the long run? That four-part lens helps us act with both self-care and collective care in mind.

Richness Over Perfection

A standout moment in the event was when Vanessa spoke about psychological richness—a newer way of understanding a good life. It’s not just about feeling good (happiness), or doing good (meaning), but about growing through diverse, even difficult, experiences.

She shared a powerful personal story about caring for her partner, who lives with Parkinson’s. One night, after a medical emergency, neighbors rushed in to help—some strangers, some friends. The experience, though terrifying, shifted something in her. It opened her heart to accepting help and seeing the power of community.

It reminded me of something I’ve seen too—when we’re open to others, even during life’s storms, we find strength we didn’t know we had.

Kindness, Connection, and the Ripple Effect

Vanessa emphasized that kindness isn’t just a social virtue—it’s a biological advantage. Acts of kindness reduce stress, boost immunity, and reinforce social bonds. Even better? They create ripples. When we’re kind, others are more likely to be kind too.

She broke kindness into three interconnected types:

Self-kindness: healthy habits and self-compassion Social kindness: appreciation, listening, encouragement Planet-kindness: caring for nature and future generations

As someone who’s tried to embody these ideas, I’ve seen how simply reaching out to a friend, offering a listening ear, or caring for the environment mindfully can uplift both them and me.

Let People Know They Matter

One of the most quietly powerful parts of the conversation was around mattering—the human need to feel seen and valued. Research shows the best way to feel like we matter is to help someone else feel that they do.

Vanessa encouraged small actions: learning someone’s name, giving genuine attention, asking thoughtful questions. I’ve seen how powerful this can be. A simple, “You’ve made a difference to me,” can change someone’s day—or even their life.

Reconnecting with Nature, Reconnecting with Ourselves

Our connection to nature also plays a role in happiness. But it’s not about how long we spend outdoors—it’s how engaged we are.

Vanessa encouraged us to notice nature. Smell a flower. Watch how the sky shifts. Feel your feet on the ground. These small moments build connection, not just to the Earth, but to ourselves. And they inspire us to take care of the natural world in return.

This is something I’ve personally found healing. Even in urban spaces, pausing to admire a tree or listen to birdsong gives me a quiet sense of peace—and purpose.

The Five C’s of Coping with Uncertainty

In response to today’s growing uncertainty—financial worries, health challenges, global instability—Vanessa shared her “Five C’s” framework:

Control – What small action can I take today? Competence – What can I do well or learn? Connection – Who can I reach out to, or appreciate? Constructive emotion – Can I acknowledge tough feelings without being swept away? Contribution – How can I make a difference, even in a small way?

Even choosing one of these in a hard moment can help bring clarity and strength.

My Takeaway—and an Invitation

For me, this event wasn’t just another talk. It was a reminder that happiness isn’t a luxury or a mystery. It’s a set of skills—skills we can learn, practice, and share.

Introducing Action for Happiness to my circle has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve done. I’ve seen it open up new conversations, deepen relationships, and help people navigate real challenges with more compassion and hope.

If you’re reading this, maybe this is your invitation too. Try one new habit. Share an idea with someone. Offer help—or ask for it. Notice nature. Tell someone they matter.

Because happiness, as Vanessa reminds us, is not about being cheerful all the time. It’s about building a life that can weather storms, nurture others, and keep growing.

Together, we can make happier, kinder living not just possible—but normal.

Credits: This post is based on a live Action for Happiness event on February 12, 2025, featuring Vanessa King and Mark Williamson. You can explore more at actionforhappiness.org. A new app-based course from Vanessa called “How to Be Happier” is launching soon on the illum platform.