As we move through life, caught up in daily routines, career ambitions, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to forget what really matters. But when people reach the end of their lives, they have the gift—or burden—of hindsight. Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent years caring for terminally ill patients, captured these reflections in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. What she found were common threads of regret that speak deeply to how we live and the choices we make.

Bronnie’s journey into this work was anything but ordinary. As a nurse, she had the profound responsibility of caring for patients in their final days, listening to their stories, and hearing their deepest regrets. What started as conversations in a hospice room transformed into a viral blog post and eventually a best-selling book. Her goal was never to write about death, but rather, to shed light on life. By listening to those at the end of their journey, she discovered timeless lessons for us all.

There’s an old saying: “There’s no escaping death and taxes.” While taxes come around once a year, the reality of death is always with us. None of us can avoid it. But what we can do is live in such a way that when the end comes, we can look back with peace, not regret. These aren’t just the regrets of the dying—they’re gentle reminders for the living. Here are the top five regrets Ware heard over and over again, and the lessons we can take from them.

1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

How many of us live according to the expectations of others? Whether it’s parents, society, or friends, there’s always an invisible script we feel pressured to follow. As we grow up, the weight of these expectations can push our own dreams and desires to the side.

Many people on their deathbeds looked back and realized that they hadn’t lived authentically. They had pursued paths that made others happy but left their own dreams unfulfilled. It’s a tough pill to swallow at the end of a life—but a powerful reminder to the rest of us: the time to chase our own dreams is now, not later.

2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

How often do we sacrifice time with family and friends for work? This regret was most common among men, who realized too late that they had missed out on their children’s youth, their partner’s companionship, and even their own well-being in the name of career advancement.

The reality is, work will always be there. But the people in our lives won’t. We often think, “Once I hit this goal, then I’ll relax.” But life isn’t waiting for us to cross things off a list. It’s happening right now. This regret is a call to slow down, enjoy the people we love, and stop making work the center of our universe.

3. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

It’s hard to speak up sometimes. Whether it’s a fear of confrontation or wanting to keep the peace, many people spend their lives holding back their emotions. This leads to bitterness, resentment, and missed opportunities for deeper connections.

On their deathbeds, people often regretted the times they didn’t say what they truly felt—whether it was an apology that went unsaid, or love that went unexpressed. It’s a reminder that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Our relationships are richer and more fulfilling when we’re open about how we feel.

4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

As life moves on, it’s easy to let friendships slip through the cracks. Work, family, and responsibilities take center stage, and before we know it, years have passed without seeing old friends.

For many, this was a source of deep sadness at the end of life. They missed the companionship, laughter, and support of people who had been a part of their journey. The lesson here is simple but profound: nurture your friendships. Make time for the people who make life better, even if it’s just a quick call or coffee.

5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

This one seems surprising at first—why wouldn’t we choose happiness? But as Bronnie Ware noted, many people stay stuck in patterns that don’t serve them, out of fear or habit. We get used to our comfort zones, even if they aren’t making us happy.

At the end of their lives, people often realized that happiness was a choice they could have made, but didn’t. They stayed stuck in old routines, replaying the same roles, instead of embracing change and joy. This regret is a beautiful reminder to stop postponing joy, to take risks, and to allow ourselves the freedom to truly live.

We know that there’s no escaping death and taxes, but we can escape a life of regret. Some believe you live only once. Some believe you are born again and live multiple times. I personally believe you should live as if it doesn’t matter whether you live only once or many times—live as fully as you can in this moment. Bronnie Ware’s wisdom shared from her time with the dying isn’t just about the end of life—it’s about how we live right now. These regrets remind us to live authentically, love openly, and savor the moments that make life truly meaningful.