Inspired by Oliver Burkeman | Inspired by his book Meditations for Mortals and BigThink talk

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly falling behind—like if you just had the perfect system, the perfect schedule, or a little more self-discipline, you’d finally get control of your life—you’re not alone. Perfectionism, productivity anxiety, and the endless search for efficiency are struggles many of us share. But what if the real answer isn’t getting more done, but rather letting go of the need to?

The Myth of Getting Everything Under Control

For years, I was convinced that if I could just fine-tune my daily routine, find the perfect organizational system, and work with relentless discipline, I’d reach a point where everything felt in order. The reality, though, is much different.

There will always be too much to do. You will never feel completely ready. No amount of planning or scheduling can eliminate the uncertainty of life.

The problem with an obsession over structure is that even if you succeed in managing your time perfectly, you still lose—because life itself isn’t meant to be a rigid checklist. A hyper-controlled schedule strips away spontaneity, joy, and the very essence of being alive.

That’s why we need to rethink our relationship with work and productivity. The goal isn’t to conquer our to-do lists. It’s to learn how to exist within the inevitable chaos of life without letting it consume us.

The Truth About Productivity: It’s Worse Than You Think (and That’s Good News)

One of the most liberating realizations is that mastering productivity is not just difficult—it’s impossible.

The modern world tricks us into believing that if we just worked harder, smarter, or with better tools, we could finally “catch up.” But the truth is, there is always more to do. The list of things you could accomplish is infinite, and no system will ever change that.

At first, this might sound discouraging, but it’s actually the opposite. The Zen master Jiyu-Kennett once said that her goal wasn’t to lighten her students’ burdens but to make them so heavy that they would finally put them down.

When you stop trying to get everything done, you realize you were never supposed to. You can stop chasing an unattainable standard and focus on the few things that truly matter.

Escaping the “Productivity Debt” Mindset

Many of us wake up each day with a subconscious feeling of productivity debt—the belief that we must earn our worth by getting things done. If we don’t accomplish enough, we somehow feel like we’ve failed.

But this is a never-ending trap. The more we do, the higher our expectations rise. We chase an ever-moving target of “enough,” exhausting ourselves in the process.

Instead, consider this: You don’t need to do anything to justify your existence. Yes, work is necessary for survival, but it is not the measure of your value as a human being.

One simple strategy to counter this mindset? Keep a “done list” instead of a to-do list. Start tracking what you have accomplished, no matter how small. Made coffee? Wrote an email? Read a chapter of a book? These count. Over time, you’ll realize that every little action adds up, and you’re not as “behind” as you think.

The 3–4 Hour Rule: Why Less Work Is More Productive

Across history, some of the greatest thinkers—scientists, writers, artists—have all followed a strikingly similar pattern: They dedicate about three to four hours per day to deep, focused work.

As Alex Pang discusses in his book Rest, this pattern is nearly universal. People who produce extraordinary work tend to limit their most demanding tasks to a few high-quality hours rather than pushing themselves for 10–12 hours a day.

Why? Because focused work is draining. It requires intense cognitive effort, and forcing yourself beyond your natural limits often leads to diminishing returns. What’s more, creative breakthroughs often happen outside of work—when you’re resting, walking, or simply letting your mind wander.

If you want to maximize productivity, work less but with greater intensity. Give yourself time to recover, and don’t feel guilty for stepping away.

The Problem with Eliminating “Distractions”

We often blame distractions for our lack of productivity, but consider this:

The very concept of a “distraction” assumes that you already know exactly how your time should be spent. But do you?

Hyper-controlling our schedules—trying to eliminate every possible interruption—can sometimes do more harm than good. Life isn’t just about efficiency; it’s about connection, spontaneity, and unexpected moments.

For example, if my son runs into my office to tell me about his day at school, should I see that as a distraction? Of course, if I’m on an important deadline, I might need to pause him for a moment. But if my schedule is so rigid that it treats these moments as problems—rather than some of the best parts of life—then I’ve structured my time in the wrong way.

Productivity matters, but not at the cost of what truly makes life meaningful.

The Real Goal: A Richer, Not Just More Efficient, Life

We live in an era obsessed with optimization—better workflows, smarter habits, faster results. But the deeper truth is that no system will ever make you feel “caught up.”

Instead of striving for total control, try embracing the messiness of life.

🔹 Accept that you will never be able to do everything.
🔹 Stop defining your worth by your productivity.
🔹 Work in focused bursts, not endless hours.
🔹 Keep track of what you have done, not just what’s left to do.
🔹 Allow space for interruptions, spontaneity, and connection.

The goal isn’t to get to the end of your to-do list. It’s to live a life that feels full, meaningful, and free.

And that begins not by doing more, but by letting go.

Would love to hear your thoughts! Have you struggled with productivity anxiety? What strategies have helped you? Let’s discuss in the comments! 🚀