We live in a time where happiness is marketed as the ultimate goal. It’s on magazine covers, in self-help books, and on Instagram feeds. But what if the secret to a fulfilling life isn’t happiness at all, but something deeper—something steadier? Writer and positive psychology researcher Emily Esfahani Smith offers a profound answer: the key to a fulfilling life is not simply being happy, but having meaning.

Smith’s journey began like many others. She sought the classic formula for happiness—chasing the ideal job, the perfect relationship, and a picture-perfect lifestyle. But despite achieving much of what she thought would make her happy, she felt anxious and lost. It wasn’t until she studied positive psychology that she came across a sobering truth: pursuing happiness for its own sake can actually leave us more disconnected, anxious, and unhappy.

This paradox is reflected in rising global rates of depression and suicide—even in countries where living standards are higher than ever before. What’s missing from so many lives, according to Smith, is meaning. And meaning, as she discovered, is not about fleeting joy but about depth, resilience, and purpose.

Smith identifies four pillars that create a meaningful life: belonging, purpose, transcendence, and storytelling. These pillars are not just abstract ideas—they are practices and perspectives that anyone can integrate into daily life.

Belonging, the first pillar, is about relationships where you are valued for who you truly are—not for your beliefs, your affiliations, or what you can offer, but for your intrinsic self. True belonging arises from love and mutual respect, not conditional acceptance. It can exist in small moments—a smile from a neighbor, a sincere chat with a colleague, or a daily interaction with a street vendor. These seemingly minor exchanges have the power to affirm our humanity. As Smith notes, when we neglect these moments—checking our phones while someone speaks, avoiding eye contact—we can unintentionally make others feel invisible. Choosing to lead with love in our interactions builds a more stable foundation of meaning.

The second pillar, purpose, is often misunderstood as career ambition. But real purpose goes beyond personal gain; it’s about contribution. Purpose involves using your strengths to serve others. Whether it’s a hospital janitor who sees her role as healing, or a parent raising children with love and dedication, purpose gives us direction and sustains us through challenges. A meaningful job can be a source of purpose, but purpose can also be found in mentorship, volunteering, or caregiving. In a society where many feel disengaged at work or excluded from the labor force, this absence of purpose becomes not just a personal issue but an existential crisis.

Transcendence, the third pillar, refers to moments that lift us above the ordinary. In these moments, we lose ourselves and connect to something greater. It could be through nature, art, spirituality, or creative flow. These experiences can transform us, making us feel more connected and generous. Smith shares how something as simple as gazing up at tall trees can reduce self-centeredness and spark compassion. When we regularly seek out transcendent moments, we nourish our spirit in ways that happiness alone cannot.

The final pillar is perhaps the most unexpected: storytelling. This is the story we tell ourselves about our own lives. All of us are narrative creatures. We interpret our experiences and define our identity through stories. But too often, we let these stories trap us in pain—stories of failure, loss, or inadequacy. Smith tells the story of Emeka, a young man who was paralyzed during a football game. At first, he saw his life as split into “before” and “after”—and the “after” was bleak. But over time, he reframed his story. He saw his injury as a turning point that awakened purpose in his life. He began mentoring others and became someone he was proud of. This redemptive narrative didn’t erase his suffering—it transformed it. The stories we tell about our lives can imprison us or free us. And we have the power to revise them.

These four pillars are not mutually exclusive. Together, they reinforce each other, creating a sturdy structure for a meaningful life. Smith’s own upbringing in a Sufi household in Montreal exemplifies this. Her home was a gathering place where community (belonging), spiritual practice (transcendence), and service (purpose) were woven into everyday life. Even storytelling found a place in the sharing of personal and spiritual experiences. That early exposure gave her a deep understanding of meaning, though she didn’t fully appreciate it until she left home and felt its absence.

Importantly, meaning is not always easy or comfortable. It often requires effort, reflection, and resilience. It asks us to grow from pain, to serve when it’s inconvenient, and to connect when we’d rather withdraw. But meaning offers something happiness never can: a sense of stability through life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Smith recounts a powerful moment with her father, who, after suffering a near-fatal heart attack, found the will to live in his love for his children. In that moment, his sense of belonging, purpose, and transcendence came together—and helped him survive. That’s the enduring power of meaning. When joy is scarce and life feels unbearable, it offers something solid to cling to.

In a culture obsessed with happiness, Smith’s message is a quiet revolution. She reminds us that it’s not the pursuit of pleasure that makes life worthwhile—it’s connection, contribution, awe, and the stories we live by. By focusing on the four pillars of belonging, purpose, transcendence, and storytelling, we don’t just find meaning—we build lives that are rich, resilient, and truly worth living.

Based on the TED Talk by Emily Esfahani Smith, “There’s More to Life Than Being Happy.”