For a long time, I thought happiness was proof that life was going well.

If I made the right choices, built a good career, had the right people around me and created enough comfort, I should be happy. And if I wasn’t, perhaps something was wrong.

I don’t believe that anymore.

Happiness is a feeling, and feelings move.

Some of the most meaningful parts of life are not always happy ones. Raising a child can be exhausting. Building something can be stressful. Relationships can be uncomfortable. Growth can feel lonely. Starting over can make us question everything.

That doesn’t mean life has gone wrong.

So instead of asking, “Am I happy?”, I prefer asking:

Am I alive? Am I curious? Am I growing? Am I creating? Am I becoming someone I respect? Do I have people I deeply care about?

I still want happiness. I just don’t expect it to stay forever.

I want the whole experience — the laughter and the disappointment, success and failure, love and loss, certainty and confusion.

Maybe a good life isn’t one where we stay happy.

Maybe it’s one we are willing to experience fully.