Relationships can bring joy and fulfillment, but they can also test our patience and emotional resilience. In today’s world, dating and relationships come with new terms and behaviors that might feel familiar, even if you didn’t have a name for them. This is what love has become in the age of phones and social media—a space where technology connects us but also creates new ways to confuse, hurt, and distance one another.

Modern relationships often feel like a balancing act between meaningful connection and the distractions of a constantly connected world. Technology has opened doors for instant communication but has also introduced behaviors that can leave us feeling unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward navigating love in a healthier, more intentional way.

Here’s a list of 13 such behaviors, explained with relatable scenarios to make them real.

1. Ghosting

You’re texting someone, having great conversations, and suddenly, they vanish. You planned a second date after an amazing first meeting, but when you text them to confirm the time, there’s no response. Days turn into weeks, and you never hear from them again.

2. Breadcrumbing

Someone gives just enough attention to keep you around but never truly commits. They send flirty messages and say they miss you, but when you suggest meeting up, they’re always “too busy” or “not ready for a relationship right now.”

3. Gaslighting

A manipulative tactic where someone makes you doubt your reality or feelings. You tell your partner you’re hurt by something they said, and they respond with, “You’re overreacting. I never said that,” even though you know they did. Over time, you start questioning your memory and emotions.

4. Love Bombing

At first, it feels magical—they shower you with attention, gifts, and declarations of love. After only a week of dating, they tell you they’ve never felt this way before, want to meet your family, and start planning vacations together. A month later, they pull away or become controlling.

5. Benching

Someone keeps you on the sidelines while exploring other options. They message you every few weeks with a “Hey, how are you?” but never make an effort to meet or deepen the connection.

6. Orbiting

When someone stops talking to you but continues to watch your life from a distance. They ghosted you months ago, but they still like your Instagram posts and watch all your stories, leaving you wondering what their deal is.

7. Zombie-ing

Just when you’ve moved on, they come back from the dead. After disappearing for weeks, they text you out of the blue with a casual, “Hey, hope you’re doing well!” as if nothing happened.

8. Negging

Subtle insults disguised as compliments, meant to lower your confidence. Someone says, “You’re pretty for someone who doesn’t wear makeup,” or “Wow, you’re really smart for someone who didn’t go to a top school.”

9. Future Faking

Making grand promises about the future with no intention of following through. They talk about moving in together, meeting their parents, or traveling the world, but when you bring it up later, they brush it off or act like you misunderstood.

10. Phubbing

When someone prioritizes their phone over you during your time together. You’re sharing something important about your day, and they’re scrolling through TikTok, barely responding with “uh-huh.”

11. Emotional Withholding

Deliberately holding back affection or communication as a way to control or punish. After a disagreement, they stop texting you, avoid physical affection, or act cold, leaving you to guess what’s wrong and seek their approval.

12. Slow Fading

Instead of directly ending things, someone gradually pulls away. They stop initiating conversations, take longer to reply, and cancel plans until the relationship quietly fizzles out without closure.

13. Micro-Cheating

Engaging in small, seemingly harmless actions that blur the lines of loyalty. They flirt with coworkers, hide their phone screen around you, or maintain “just friendly” relationships that feel a little too intimate.

What Has Love Become?

In the age of phones and social media, these behaviors reflect how modern love can be as fleeting as a swipe or as shallow as a comment. While technology helps us connect, it also allows people to avoid accountability, create illusions, and hurt others without much effort. I am not sure if we can ever recover fully from this assault of technology and social media. Maybe some of the damage it has done is permanent and comes with long-term consequences.

But I am hopeful. Hopeful that love, in its truest form, would eventually reclaim its place. That honesty, vulnerability, and kindness will triumph over fleeting distractions and manipulations. Love, I believe, is resilient—it adapts, learns, and heals. In time, it will find a way to overcome the challenges of this digital age.

How to Protect Yourself

• Set Boundaries: Be clear about what you will and won’t accept in a relationship.

• Communicate: Openly discuss your feelings and expectations to avoid misunderstandings.

• Recognize Patterns: If someone repeatedly exhibits these behaviors, it might be time to step back and reassess.

• Value Yourself: Remember, a healthy relationship is built on respect, trust, and mutual effort.

Modern love is complicated, but it doesn’t have to be unkind. Recognizing these behaviors can help you navigate dating with clarity and confidence, ensuring you invest in the connections that truly matter.

Have you experienced any of these behaviors? Share your stories or thoughts below—I’d love to hear from you!